you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
