I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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