are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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