Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
last night I used snow as a chaser
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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