that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My cat gives me a boner
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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