Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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