Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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