she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize