I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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