Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
