Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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