I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
