At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
