i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well I just put wine in my tea
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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