My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
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the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
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He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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