You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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