and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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