Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
