After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
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I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
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Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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