I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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