Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
