i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
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I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
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Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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