she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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