Who did Billy Mays play for?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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