we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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