glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize