brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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