How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
