I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
There's even glitter on my cock...
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