I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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