SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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