You can't motorboat a personality
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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