I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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