I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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