there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
