Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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