You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's official drugs can't kill me
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize