And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
