I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize