"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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