the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
