Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
