she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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