You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
