I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Sorry about my life...
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