her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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