But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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