Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
