I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
