imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
