My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
