Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.