So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
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He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
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that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today