I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.