thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.