Wow word travels fast.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?