I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
